A little soul baring…

Black & White

I am an attorney-turned-life coach who is passionate about connecting clients from all walks of life with who they really are.

On paper, that’s a pretty accurate description of who I am and what I do. But here’s the thing about a life on paper: It can be really flimsy and lack substance. And it always got me into trouble.

You see, I spent the first 30-some-odd years of my life creating a beautiful life on paper. It was pretty spectacular, if I do say so myself.

There was a fancy law school education from a top tier school. Then an associate attorney position with a great law firm. Add in a marriage to a wildly successful Erin Brockovich-style attorney who provided us with a ridiculously over-the-top lifestyle. It was like being married to the King of Torts in John Grisham’s writing (except here my spouse was ethical and humble, unlike Grisham’s protagonist). Put it all together, and voilà! One shiny, perfect-seeming life on paper.

I felt so incredibly blessed and grateful for my good fortune…and yet so incredibly confused. If everything looked so good on the outside, why didn’t I feel better on the inside? And why, amidst all that wealth and seeming success, did I have the nagging suspicion that something was still missing. All along, I had been operating under the assumption that once my life looked good externally, I would finally feel peaceful and happy internally. I now know that assumption is not only costly, but just plain wrong.


Enter Dr. Martha Beck…

It was during this time of outer shine and inner turmoil that I happened to pick up a copy of O Magazine while trapped in a doctor’s waiting room. As I flipped through it casually, it fell open to an article that would change the trajectory of my life. (If you’re interested, you can access said article here).

It was written by Martha Beck, a sociologist with a doctorate from Harvard, who later became a best-selling author and life coach. The article was about tuning in to one’s inner wisdom, and in it she described two very different aspects of our psyche.

There is the social self, which is the inner voice of social conditioning that leads us to conform to what we “should” be and do, as told to us by anyone from parents to teachers to religious leaders to our culture. And then there is the essential self, which is the voice of inner wisdom that reflects our true self (i.e., who we really are underneath the social self).


Goodbye social self, hello me…

At that moment, a light bulb went on for me. Most, if not all, of my life choices to date were made by and for my social self. No wonder my truest, essential self felt so empty. Not to mention the fact that I had fashioned my entire self-worth as an armor made of education and money.

From that point forward, I began a terrifying but infinitely rewarding process of steering the course of my life based on the desires of my innermost essential self. Terrifying because I walked away from everything; infinitely rewarding because, when I lay the armor down and went within, I finally connected with who I really was.

I radically simplified all areas of my life. I went to Burning Man. I did my own version of Eat Pray Love, spending months abroad volunteering with elephants in Thailand, donkeys in Spain, and children in Indonesia. I even lived in an Airstream for awhile (you know, those cute little silver travel trailers). When I took all the externals away, I discovered who was left: me and the Oversoul (more on that here).


And then…

The Universe graciously conspired to assist me in bringing to others the transformation I experienced on my journey. Through a serendipitous turn of events, I enrolled in Dr. Martha Beck’s life coach training program, where I completed my training and subsequently received my certification in January 2015. In October 2016, I received my Master Coach certification in Dr. Beck’s program. I now have the absolute pleasure of guiding my clients through their own unique and personal transformations into the people they’ve always wanted to be, pursuing the lives they’ve dreamed of living.

I call it coaching with soul.





© 2016 Sunny Joy McMillan, dba Golden Oversoul